Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Feb 19 2016 04:23 PM
Hi all, fairly new here!
Thought I'd try and get some feedback on a tune I came up with today!
I called it 'Breaker'
I know the playing is pretty sloppy, and the drum sound is horrid beyond all belief, but looking past that I'm hoping to get some comments about the arrangement and composition. Does it hold interest? Too much going on? Not enough going on? etc., you get the picture. Would love to improve it and re-record it (hopefully with much more organic sounding drums next time!).
Cheers!
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
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eddiekatcher
Joined: Mar 14, 2006
Posts: 2775
Atlanta, GA
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Posted on Feb 19 2016 05:03 PM
Hey, that's cool. Get busy, write more!
ed
— Traditional........speak softly and play through a big blonde amp. Did I mention that I still like big blonde amps?
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Feb 19 2016 05:05 PM
eddiekatcher wrote:
Hey, that's cool. Get busy, write more!
ed
Thanks Ed! I plan to do so!
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
Last edited: Feb 19, 2016 17:05:55
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MPoppitt
Joined: Apr 23, 2006
Posts: 133
Austin TEXAS!
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Posted on Feb 21 2016 09:18 AM
Me likey...
— 
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Feb 21 2016 10:09 AM
MPoppitt wrote:
Me likey...
Thanks!
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Mar 05 2016 03:59 PM
Another one, more of a spur of the moment thing. Very short, but it was fun to do.
I'm sure most if not all of you know the hook
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
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montereyjack66
Joined: Jul 23, 2014
Posts: 637
LA -ish
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Posted on Mar 05 2016 05:22 PM
I like it! And, to discredit my opinion, as a fan of ash can drumming, I also like the drum sound. That said, coming through my crappy laptop speakers, it sounds overall pretty cool. I like the guitar sound in and of itself. I would make two remarks/suggestions:
-
The drums sound pretty in your face in a 3-d kind of way. The guitar sounds like it was recorded in a universe parallel to the drums. It's a demo. It gets the idea across well. If it were a more permanent effort, I would re-dial the reverb a bit.
-
More to your question, the song works from A-Z as indicated in remarks above. Arrangement-wise, you might play with the second verse a tiny bit. Expanded it, add another instrument, fills, etc. Not a lot. Just so it's a little less similar to the first "verse"
Let me emphasize, this is just me being honest but picky (and trust me, I'm not that picky a guy) because...well...you have the essentials well covered. Good job!
mj
— mj
bent playing for benter results
Do not attempt to adjust your TV set.
https://www.facebook.com/Bass-VI-Explorers-Club-179437279151035/
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Mar 06 2016 04:12 AM
montereyjack66 wrote:
I like it! And, to discredit my opinion, as a fan of ash can drumming, I also like the drum sound. That said, coming through my crappy laptop speakers, it sounds overall pretty cool. I like the guitar sound in and of itself. I would make two remarks/suggestions:
-
The drums sound pretty in your face in a 3-d kind of way. The guitar sounds like it was recorded in a universe parallel to the drums. It's a demo. It gets the idea across well. If it were a more permanent effort, I would re-dial the reverb a bit.
-
More to your question, the song works from A-Z as indicated in remarks above. Arrangement-wise, you might play with the second verse a tiny bit. Expanded it, add another instrument, fills, etc. Not a lot. Just so it's a little less similar to the first "verse"
Let me emphasize, this is just me being honest but picky (and trust me, I'm not that picky a guy) because...well...you have the essentials well covered. Good job!
mj
Hey, thanks a lot! I do plan to re-record it at some point with an actual drummer, hopefully by then I'd have sorted a more 'permanent' guitar sound by then (with a new reverb unit too, for that matter).
In regards to the second verse, I was thinking of adding some organ or theremin to it as additional noise. I agree, something else happening would make it more interesting to listen to.
Thanks for the feedback!
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
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Badger
Joined: Nov 16, 2013
Posts: 4536
Wisconsin
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Posted on Mar 06 2016 06:33 AM
I like a lot of stuff but am a trad guy first; I really like it. Pretty much what Pat said above & I like the drums for the vibe. I think they're crucial. Too many canned drum sounds leave you yelling at the speakers, "HIT the damn thing!"
Guitar has a nice hot-roddish vibe to it.
What did you use for your drum track if may ask?
— Wes
SoCal ex-pat with a snow shovel
DISCLAIMER: The above is opinion/suggestion only & should not be used for mission planning/navigation, tweaking of instruments, beverage selection, or wardrobe choices.
Last edited: Mar 06, 2016 12:51:48
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Mar 06 2016 08:21 AM
Badger wrote:
I like a lot of stuff but am a trad guy first; I really like it. Pretty much what Pat said aboge & I like the drums for the vibe. I think they're crucial. Too many canned drum sounds leave you yelling at the speakers, "HIT the damn thing!"
Guitar has a nice hot-roddish vibe to it.
What did you use for your drum track if may ask?
Hey, thanks! For the drums I used an old version of the program Hydrogen (had to be an old one because new versions don't support Windows anymore).
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
Last edited: Mar 06, 2016 08:22:15
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on Mar 06 2016 08:21 AM
Whoops, double post
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
Last edited: Mar 06, 2016 08:22:51
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Badger
Joined: Nov 16, 2013
Posts: 4536
Wisconsin
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Posted on Mar 06 2016 12:52 PM
Smart_Patrol wrote:
Hey, thanks! For the drums I used an old version of the program Hydrogen (had to be an old one because new versions don't support Windows anymore).
Thanks; I'll go searching for an old version, appreciate the tip.
— Wes
SoCal ex-pat with a snow shovel
DISCLAIMER: The above is opinion/suggestion only & should not be used for mission planning/navigation, tweaking of instruments, beverage selection, or wardrobe choices.
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on May 12 2016 04:39 PM
A new one, equally suffering a case of 'digital drum-itis', but presentable, I think.
Scientific Noise
Can't wait to try this one at rehearsal this weekend!
Edit:
And another one! Slower this time
MK Ultra, International Espionage
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
Last edited: May 14, 2016 17:17:04
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Joelman
Joined: Sep 07, 2006
Posts: 1491
Redlands, CA
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Posted on May 19 2016 05:23 PM
Smart_Patrol wrote:
A new one, equally suffering a case of 'digital drum-itis', but presentable, I think.
Scientific Noise
Can't wait to try this one at rehearsal this weekend!
Edit:
And another one! Slower this time
MK Ultra, International Espionage
I think I like this one a lot better than the first one.
You have some great chops going on.
If I may, you might get a more pleasant flow if you rethought the position of your passages.
Your sound is good and the playing is good.
I'd just rearrange some of the verse/choruses position.
Your milage may very.
Thanks for listening folks.
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Smart_Patrol
Joined: Feb 14, 2016
Posts: 103
Brighton
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Posted on May 20 2016 10:35 AM
Joelman wrote:
I think I like this one a lot better than the first one.
You have some great chops going on.
If I may, you might get a more pleasant flow if you rethought the position of your passages.
Your sound is good and the playing is good.
I'd just rearrange some of the verse/choruses position.
Your milage may very.
Thanks for listening folks.
Thanks for the feedback!
I'll certainly give it a go moving some things around, see how it turns out.
— Earth. Atomizer. Let's go.
The Atom Jacks
The Tridents
|
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