Not bad! Good melodic line, semi-haunting... Just continue to focus on your timing and enjoy the ride!!

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Last edited: Feb 20, 2024 15:44:15

A valiant effort. There are a few things I'd suggest.

First, I think it's too long. There's not a strong enough melody to support the song at this length. Condense it down to short and sweet. Lose those breaks where it seems like the song has ended. All that does is throw away any momentum the song has.

Get into things quicker as well. You have eight bars before anything happens! Cut that fat out.

Okay, so when the song does start, you have a section of rhythm chords followed by a section of solo bass. This is kind of weird. Why does the guitar drop out there? I suggest having the guitar play the melody that you used the bass for. It will flow way better.

Section-wise, the A part is a vi-IV-V-iii in C minor. The B part I'll call the one where the guitar drops out. It sounds like that's a C-F-C-D#. Since it's only the bass melody playing there, it's not clear whether it's an F major or and F minor but I think F major sounds cooler (it gives it a dorian sound) and the D# is naturally a major. It think it would be good to have the lead guitar playing the melody here, as I already said. And in fact, perhaps there should also be a rhythm guitar spelling out the chords explicitly, as the melody does not, as written.

The next section, I'll call the C section. I believe you're playing an F minor to a G minor. I have a hard time picking out everything that's going on but between the rhythm and lead guitars, it sounds like those chords to me. However, it sounds like the bass is playing a D# to an F, which is not good. The flatted 7th of each chord. It's in key but it sounds bad, weird, and confusing. I strongly suggest playing the roots. In surf music, the bass always plays the roots!

Finally, the ending is pretty abrupt. You had good music sense to come in with the fuzz guitar as a final dramatic crescendo but I think you should work on writing some form of grand finale to really bring it home rather than just stopping like you did here. Or you could extend it a bit, repeating what you're doing there and just fade it out. Currently it just sounds like the end of a demo.

I think you're well on your way! As stated already: work on your timing. If you were in a Whiplash scene right now, you'd be getting your face smacked a lot. You're rushing!

Redfeather wrote:

In surf music, the bass always plays the roots!

There's nothing wrong with playing just the roots if that's what best suits your arrangement, but it's definitely not true to say that this is the norm for surf!

The Miramars (2017-2022) https://www.facebook.com/themiramars / https://soundcloud.com/themiramars

Yeah I’m very much a novice with writing surf, I appreciate everyone’s suggestions and comments

Been learning surf for under a year and writing even less

I’ll be working on a new song very soon

Last edited: Feb 22, 2024 15:39:52

I agree with ArtS that you should absolutely keep experimenting and creating stuff by no one's rules but your own. I mean it's good to listen to input but the best way to learn and hone your craft is by trying different things and learning what you like and don't like.

The points I made are all things I've worked out over the years, trying my own things and paying attention to the surf (and other) music that appeals to me. Of course your tastes may be different and you're allowed to do your own thing!

Regarding the bass and playing the roots, MartinB has a valid point. It sounded like I was saying to just hammer on the root of each chord; that's not what I meant! That is boring. What I was getting at is that the bass, heard on its own, should clearly spell out what the underlying chord is. Generally, this means hitting the root note and building on that. The complexity of the line should be adjusted to the song. And The Miramars feature awesome, authentic surf bass! A perfect example to follow. Still waiting for an album to buy from those guys...

Redfeather wrote:

Regarding the bass and playing the roots, MartinB has a valid point. It sounded like I was saying to just hammer on the root of each chord; that's not what I meant! That is boring. What I was getting at is that the bass, heard on its own, should clearly spell out what the underlying chord is. Generally, this means hitting the root note and building on that. The complexity of the line should be adjusted to the song.

A simple misunderstanding on my part then! Surf bass (and drums) can sometimes be overlooked in favour of lead guitar, and I was too quick to rush to its defence

And The Miramars feature awesome, authentic surf bass! A perfect example to follow. Still waiting for an album to buy from those guys...

You're too kind! Sadly, there won't be an album as we have amicably parted ways. Nothing good can last; our situations changed and we were unable to continue as a group.

I recently picked up the excellent reverb plugin recommended in this other thread, so I might attempt to come up with something of my own for the 2023 MP3 compilation before it closes. We'll see!

The Miramars (2017-2022) https://www.facebook.com/themiramars / https://soundcloud.com/themiramars